Are They in Immediate Danger?

If they may act on thoughts of suicide, have seriously harmed themselves, have taken an overdose, may seriously harm someone else, or cannot be kept safe, get emergency help now.

• Call 999 for an ambulance or the police.
• Help them get to A&E if you can do so safely.
• Stay with them if it is safe for you to do so.

If they have injured themselves and you are unsure what medical help is needed, see our medical-emergency guidance.

Do not put yourself in danger or try to manage an emergency alone. If there is no immediate danger but they need urgent mental health support, call NHS 111 and choose the mental health option.

What You Can Do Right Now

You do not need special training or the perfect words. Being there, listening and helping them take one manageable next step can make a difference.

• Listen: Give them space to speak in their own words without rushing to solve everything.
• Stay calm: A steady, reassuring presence can make it easier for them to keep talking.
• Ask what would help: They may want company, practical help, someone to contact, or simply to be heard.
• Ask directly about safety: If you are worried, ask whether they are thinking about suicide or harming themselves.
• Help them connect: Offer to sit with them while they call someone, arrange an appointment, or look at support options.
• Do not promise secrecy: If someone is in danger, getting help must come first.

How to Talk and Listen

You do not have to agree with everything or know exactly what to say. Try to help them feel heard rather than judged or hurried.

• Try saying, “I’m worried about you,” or “You don’t have to explain it perfectly.”
• Avoid minimising what they are feeling or telling them to simply cheer up.
• Ask open questions and give them time to answer.
• Do not assume you know the cause or what will work for them.
• Offer choices instead of taking over wherever possible.

What If They Don't Want Help?

You cannot force someone to talk or accept support when there is no immediate danger, but you can keep the door open.

• Let them know you care and will listen if they change their mind.
• Offer one or two simple options rather than a long list of services.
• Ask whether they would like you to help them contact their GP. Our guide to talking to a GP may help them prepare.
• Check in again later rather than treating one conversation as the only opportunity.

Respect their choices wherever possible. If you believe they or someone else is in immediate danger, getting emergency help takes priority.

Practical Support Can Help Too

Sometimes the pressure is coming from money, food, housing, work, family problems, isolation or another part of everyday life. Small practical help can make things feel more manageable.

• Offer to help with a meal, shopping, childcare, a phone call or an appointment.
• Ask whether they would like you to come with them to the HRE4U Community Crisis Café.
• Help them look for an organisation that supports the practical problem they are facing.

Next session 9th November at St Faith’s (Crosby), 10–2. No appointment or referral needed.

What If Their Beliefs Seem Unusual Or Frightening?

If someone seems very frightened, confused, hears or sees things you do not, or believes something that you do not believe is happening, focus on how they feel and whether they are safe.

• Stay calm and acknowledge that the experience feels real or frightening to them.
• Do not argue about the belief, mock it, or pretend that you share it.
• Move somewhere quieter if that feels safe and helpful.
• Seek urgent help if they cannot keep themselves safe, may harm someone, or are unable to care for themselves.

Could Abuse or Violence Be Involved?

If someone is being hurt, threatened, controlled or frightened, do not confront the person responsible if that could place either of you in danger. Specialist services can help you think through the safest next step.

Looking After Yourself

Supporting someone can be frightening and exhausting. You matter too, and you do not have to carry everything by yourself.

• Share responsibility with another trusted person where appropriate.
• Be honest about what you can and cannot do.
• Take a break when the person is safe and someone else can support them.
• Talk to someone yourself if the situation is affecting you.

Following Up Matters

A short message or call after the first conversation can remind them that they have not been forgotten.

• Ask how they are doing rather than assuming the difficult moment has passed.
• Ask whether the support they chose was helpful or whether they want to try something else.
• Keep any promises you make, while maintaining your own boundaries.

Planning Ahead

If they are safe now but you are concerned about what may happen in the future, you could make a crisis plan together. This can record who to contact, what helps, and what they would like others to do if things become difficult again.

What Would Help Next?